Home, Where Your Story Begins

I have a picture that hangs in my den.  It reminds me almost daily that our story does begin at home.  It helps me keep in focus that I want our home to be a great story.  I want it to be a story of love, forgiveness and redemption.  It seems to me, in the perfect story of life, those are the most important components.  I was thinking about the story of home for me growing up.  In looking back I think it was missing some important parts.  It wasn’t that I was not loved, I know I was.  I see now, sometimes we were lacking in forgiveness and redemption.  Things that stick out in my mind were yelling, lying, justifying and retreating. My father and I had a pattern. There was yelling, usually because I did something stupid or not up to parental par.  We have to watch parental par, I am guilty if that too. Then there was lying because I felt I needed to do that to get out of more yelling. Then there was sometimes retreating which meant I never dealt.  I just perpetuated the issue only to have the cycle happen over and over.  My dad did the justifying, he would justify why he responded the way he did. Which I know I have done too as an adult. I am sure some of you reading can relate.  Don’t get me wrong it was not all bad.  It was just inconsistent and slightly unstable. There was a lacking in grace.

For the most part as young parents we tend to do things the only way we know how, by what we learned or were shown growing up.  My poor older two, oh how I wish I could have a do over!  I was yelled at therefore I yelled.  I spent too much time making everything perfect because I grew up needing to be perfect and so on.  I still struggle with some areas even to this day.   I am sure you get the idea.  Children learn what they live.  So how do you put a stop to the madness?  I have no hard-core answer other than the Nike slogan comes to my mind, Just Do It!  God has given you the power to take control over things, including yourself.  I literally decided one day I am not going to yell anymore.   It is kind of like the smoker that quits cold turkey.  I just stopped.  My younger two girls would not even know I was once a yelling mamma.  I also decided not to be such a perfectionist but the struggle is real and I am still a work in progress.   I started recognizing that if God’s story was a story of love, forgiveness and redemption and I am supposed to strive to be like God then it should be modeled in my own home.  When my kids or spouse screw up, and they have because they are human, isn’t it my job to extend these graces to them?  They in turn should also extend them to me.  If in fact that is being done then your home should be a place of sanctuary.  A place of peace and rest.  I have prayed many times that our girls & grand kids feel like our home is a peaceful place.  I work and strive every day to make our story a great one.  A story they want to share with others.  A story where perfection is not the measuring stick but character is.  A story of loving people right where they are.  A story of forgiveness and not rehashing the wrongs.  A story of redemption, when they make bad choices or take wrong paths helping to redeem them back to where God wants them to be.  2 Thessalonians 3:16 says, “Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace always in every way. The Lord be with all of you  Pray for God’s peace in your story.

We hold the pens to our own story, God has given us all free will.  Our words and actions hold so much power.  All of us are who we are today because of words or actions we grew up with or without.  If you are just starting out with your own story, I pray it is a sweet one.  If you have several chapters written already, and you are pretty certain you are not going to like the ending.  It is time to yell plot twist and change the rest of your story.  James 3:17-18 says, “But the wisdom that comes from God is first of all pure, then peaceful, gentle and easy to please.  This wisdom is always ready to help those who are troubled and to do good for others.  It is always fair and honest.  People who work for peace in a peaceful way plant a crop of right-living.”  I challenge you to think about that verse the next few days in light of your home, your family and your story!  Will your story be one that should be passed down from generation to generation?

Until next time…