It’s Been A Long Winter

I know exactly what you are thinking, I have lost my mind since we are only to the middle of December and I am already complaining about winter.

I am not talking about a physical winter though but more of a spiritual winter, I don’t know about you but sometimes I just get so comfortable there. I am sitting here this morning as I write and there is a light rain outside, which for here really is an act of God being I can’t remember the last time it rained. I see dead or hibernating plants, leaves all over the ground and a tree that is taking the shape of a scrawny stick coming out of the ground rather than a strong shade tree from the scorching sun that it also serves as. Although one might look out my window and see death and gloom I can already envision the new life and see nothing but beauty even now. God does amazing things in the winter! I am remembering last spring as I sit here, we have a covered patio in our backyard and I had two hanging plants that had flowers in them. Naturally, winter had wiped them out and usually they just eventually get throw away or occasionally replanted with new flowers. Because of the physical craziness of my life in late winter last year they just continued to hang there. One day I was washing some dishes and looked out the window, I decided today was the day for them to meet their final burial. I didn’t have it in me to even consider replanting them with something new, I just didn’t care so to the trash they would go! As I stepped closer I saw life in one of the pots, little budding flowers were emerging. How had it survived the harsh elements of winter and it started thriving again? However the pot on the other side did not fair as well, I just determined it did not have the same will to survive! I did leave it though in some hope that I would see new life come to it. It chose death. How often do we ultimately choose death? We wallow in our sorrows, we choose not to grow, not to praise, not to have an intimate relationship with Jesus, we pull away from all that God has for us that is healthy and we cling to what is not.

Thinking back to that day now, it reminds me of myself. I have been in what Anna in the movie Frozen would call an eternal winter! I can’t even recall when it really started. It probably crept in slow and quiet, that is often how the enemy works. Then I have to ask myself why? Why did God feel so distant? He must have moved because I was still residing at the same address! However, I was not residing at all but hibernating. Hibernating seemed easy and comfortable, easier than confronting or dealing. I have never been one to suffer from ongoing depression, however, I have had bouts here and there through the years and I would compare this to a bout of depression. I started questioning my purpose? I remember telling God one day, this was not how things were supposed to look at this time in my life. I think you may have missed something, are you paying attention to me? Then a quiet voice came and said back to me, “YOU have missed something and ARE YOU paying attention to me?” Wait, what? Ummm, God, this is about me remember? This is where I want you to know that my life is half over and now what? I then felt God told me this is where you need to know your life is just beginning and I have so much for you. Open your eyes, spend time with me, not in the ways you have done it in the past. I want you to have expectations and dreams. I want you to not be satisfied with the mundane.

That day was a pivotal day for me. I made a very conscious effort to make some changes that needed to be made. To press into God, to pursue a much deeper and closer relationship with Jesus, to change how I view earthly relationships and to allow God to shape me into what he has planned for me no matter how scary, bold and out of my comfort zone that can be. At this time, I am going to embrace the winter but not in the same way I was embracing it before. I am no longer hibernating but growing and reenergizing. When spring arrives I am going to burst through with a new beauty that will not fade when the next winter rolls around. I really felt God speak directly to me through Deuteronomy 8:2 Remember how the Lord your God has left you in the desert for these forty years, taking away your pride and testing you, because he wanted to know what was in your heart. He wants to know if we obey his commands. Wandering and testing are not words that spark fun in your mind, however, it is in the wandering and the testing that what is in us really comes out.

If you are starting to feel winter coming, embrace it…don’t hibernate!

Until Next Time…